If you know, you know 😞

Most people associate childhood with comfort—with bedtime stories, safe arms, and being told they’re loved just for existing. But not everyone grows up that way. For some, childhood was a constant calculation: figuring out which version of their mother they’d face, and how to survive her.

According to the Mayo Clinic, “emotional child abuse means injuring a child’s self-esteem or emotional well-being. It includes verbal and emotional assault—such as continually belittling or berating a child—as well as isolating, ignoring, or rejecting a child.”

And when that abuse comes from your mother, the one person who should love you unconditionally, it leaves a wound that hides in plain sight.

**8 Common Signs of Emotional Abuse**

**1. She isolated you.** If someone liked you, she questioned their motives. Little by little, she chipped away at your relationships until you felt like she was the only one you could rely on. That isolation wasn’t accidental—it was control, disguised as concern.

**2. Guilt was her go-to weapon.** A sigh, a look of disappointment, or a quiet reminder of everything she’d sacrificed was often enough to make you feel guilty for even thinking of saying no. Her feelings always took priority over your own.

**3. You were constantly compared to others.** There was always someone she held up as better—a cousin, a classmate, a neighbor. Over time, it stopped feeling like guidance and started feeling like a quiet, constant message: who you are just isn’t good enough.

**4. Your appearance was a punchline.** Whether it was your weight, your clothes, or your hair, her comments stuck. Even now, when you look in the mirror, her voice is the one you hear—critical, dismissive, never satisfied.

**5. She downplayed your successes.** When you shared good news, she changed the subject or found a way to downplay it. Over time, you learned to keep your achievements to yourself.

**6. She controlled the smallest parts of your life.** She had a say in everything—what you wore, who you spent time with, how you lived. Eventually, you stopped questioning her and started questioning yourself.

**7. Love was a reward.** Her affection always came with conditions. When you did what she wanted, she could be warm. But the moment you stepped out of line, it disappeared.

**8. You were always a disappointment.** There was always a comment, a dig, a raised eyebrow. Even now, you might find yourself bracing for criticism before you make a choice.

**Lifelong Damage**

According to Verywell Mind, the consequences of emotional abuse “can result in permanent changes to the developing human brain,” potentially causing psychological disorders and substance misuse in adulthood.

The Mayo Clinic notes that while some children overcome the effects, “for many others, child abuse may result in physical, behavioral, emotional, or mental health issues—even years later.”

If you experienced abuse as a child, seeking counseling can help you break the cycle and avoid passing those patterns on to the next generation. You don’t have to face it alone. Reach out for support today.